Why Does My Ex Boyfriend Want To Come Back After A Breakup?
After a breakup there are two outcomes that can occur. You and your ex truly part ways and move on. Or the merry go round game of back and forth begins, and as exciting as it may feel in the early days of this ride, it can quickly go bad and make things worse.
So why does he keep coming back.
1) He wants to ensure that you haven’t moved on before he does. He can’t stand the thought of you moving on without him. This type of ex really doesn’t want to be with you. He simply wants to do just enough to ensure a new man doesn’t come along and pick up the pieces that he shattered. This way, he can always use you as a back up plan if he needs to.
2) No one wants to give up good sex. If there was a good physical relationship, it’s a good reason for them to return… especially if they know that you enjoyed the sex, too; that’s their “in” (so to speak). The problem with great sex is that it can create a false-positive on the happiness of the relationship. When it comes to broken relationships, great sex isn’t necessarily due to physical compatibility, but to different feelings and situations that mask the nonworking parts of the relationship: making up again after an argument, renewing the rush that accompanies seeing them again, and the like.
3) He knows that he was completely wrong and the guilt is eating him alive. In an attempt to make himself feel better, he wants you to validate that he is not as horrible as he feels. When this type of ex reappears and you entertain it, it clears his conscience and makes him feel that his behavior towards you was acceptable. No one wants to “feel like a jerk”, even if they behave like one. He’ll do his best to get back into your good graces. And then shortly after, he’ll disappear again.
4) Is your ex constantly trying to make you jealous? Do they post pictures on facebook specifically to push your buttons? Are they going out of their way so that you know that they are dating someone new? Do they become extra flirtatious with other people when you are around? Then congratulations, your ex is probably still in love with you and that can be the logic of his whole reappearance act.
Please Note: Don’t be confused by the meaning of drunken dialing and late night professions of love. If your ex calls you when they are intoxicated, then it’s an obvious sign that they still have feelings for you. However, you should be very careful about what you say to them when they call you or text you drunk. It could be that they confess their love to you when they are drunk and they become completely cold the next day.
Look at it this way: You are in contact with your ex, you see each other every so often. Maybe you’re even friends. And, cherry on the cake, you’re sleeping together again. From your ex’s point of view, why be in a relationship again? They have what they want with none of the pressures of an actual committed relationship. Sleeping with your ex on a regular basis isn’t the best idea.
However, it does let you know that your ex is still interested. Having sex once or twice in a moment of weakness and passion may be a positive thing. Flirting or even making out with your ex is a good sign, but only if your ex initiates. The more interest they show in you, the better the chances of getting back together. Be careful though that they aren’t just looking for a good time. Misinterpreting their intentions could get you hurt.